I woke up today feeling much lighter as if someone had set me free. Yes, free from the choices that I thought was making me happy, was in fact contributing to my unhappiness. Initially it didnāt make sense but then I realized that what Marc did might seem like rejection but it was a huge favor.
He helped me learn that I love myself more and that should always be the case. As Samantha would say, āHoney, I love you but I love me more. I have been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and thatās the one I need to work on.ā
He helped me see that qualities like being your authentic self, kind, caring, loving unconditionally, honest, adventurous and compassionate is what I am attracted towards. Thatās what I should practice and, one day, someone with those qualities will show up on my doorstep.
By stepping out of my lifeās picture, he had made room for me to attract someone who will make me happy and I will theirs.
I had no idea few days ago that my first chapter on learning would be about self-love and what kind of relationship I want to invite in my life. I was hoping it would be about how to make a Dutch dessert but looks like the Universe had made this choice for me. Honestly, itās better to get the mushy moments out of the way so I can build a solid foundation. Well, it will never be a perfect foundation but at least I will know how to keep it stable. As I was walking by the canal, I noticed that the Amsterdam city is built on water, to repair the foundation they have to be very careful as to not sink the city. Since they know their blindspot they are better equipped to deal with it. Just as in life, we have to know our weaknesses and blindspots.
I could have chosen to be like Bridget Jones, lock myself in my room, eat bad food and ice cream, and gain shit load of pounds. But I aināt Jones and he aināt Darcy. I am me and, this me would prefer a nice cup of hot chocolate with a splash of Baileys and getting cozy by a fireplace. Fire to me signifies āletting goā by burning off the old as well as ālife sourceā as it illuminates everything on its path. So, thatās exactly what I did. Anyways, hot chocolate makes everything so much better š
And this view on my way back to my hotel room just made me feel hopeful because fairy tales do come true if I choose to believe and have an open positive outlook on life.
PS: Thanks to all those who reached out to me personally. Your words not only comforted me but it also empowered me and, I realized how blessed Iām to have so many loving souls in my life. Big hug š¤ and kisses š
