Have you ever wondered, “What if I was not born in this dysfunctional family?” That’s exactly the state of my mind in this present moment.
As March is ending, I realize, I didn’t have a fairy tale magical ending, but I did have a lot of magical moments of awakening, learning, dealing with lies, being grateful and finding contentment. I still have a lot to learn about myself. Mostly about forgiveness.
Few weeks ago, I was excited to host a surprise party for my parents upcoming 50th wedding anniversary. I had booked the venue, hired the event planner and planning the event decor. It was a 4-star hotel with a beautiful rooftop. But my brother and his wife, from day one didn’t want to be part of this soirée because of differences with my parents and didn’t want to spend any money, and wanted me to carry forward. They have hosted so many events for their kids but were not willing to offer me any suggestions. So, I did what I could. I researched, checked out various venues and finally opted for the venue with an attached rooftop. I am grateful to my sis, bro-in-law and cousin brother, who helped me to finalize this venue and negotiate the rates.
Looks like my brother never wanted me to host this event. When I asked him to provide the names and contact info about my Dad’s friends and business connections, his reply was, “How dare you host an event at a third class place, you are ruining my image. You are supposed to host only at a 5-star hotel. Don’t you know my financial standing in the community. People will laugh at us. And, Why did you ask our cousin brother for help! You should change the venue and the date as well since it’ll not work for us or else we will not come to the event.”
I was a bit appalled to hear these words. First, they didn’t even want to host a party for their parents when all the luxuries they have is due to my Dad’s hard work and business ventures. Second, they were jealous that I asked others for help when they refused to help me. They blatantly lied that they never said they would not help me. Third, they never wanted me to host this event. They knew that I couldn’t afford to host a party for 200+ ppl at a five star hotel. So, they decided to go low by subtly informing me that I was not as wealthy as them.
WTF!
I couldn’t sleep that night. In the morning, I informed my parents what had happened and they recommended that I better cancel the event. Their reason was twofold, since my older sister has been going through divorce proceedings since the past year, there has been lot of gossip in the community, and if people start talking about my brother and his family’s absence from the event as well, the happy moment will turn into a sour one. They just don’t have the energy to deal with all of this. They were happy that I was doing this for them but would prefer that I didn’t do anything. So, that’s what I did, acknowledged their wishes.
This experience did help me learn a lot about my sister-in-laws manipulative behavior and my brothers inflated ego.
Thank God I don’t live in this negative environment. I feel sad for my parents that they have to deal with them on a daily basis.
So, March ended with a Big Bang.
I refuse to let negativity impact my feelings, so I’ve being exploring the city from the Fab Cafe near the Fort area, Fab India for shopping, the scenic Gateway of India and the streets humdrum.
I’ve no idea what April has in stored for me. I’m thinking of going to Dharmashala to spend sometime there learning meditation and being in nature. As I am contemplating this plan, I see 808. Seems like the #88 angels want me to go on this journey of self-reflection.
