Few months ago, when I was visiting Dubrovnik, Croatia, I met Marc who was visiting from Eindhoven, Netherlands, which is a small city an hour car ride from Amsterdam. We hit it off well and spent time together at the nearby island and had dinner in old town. When you are traveling, you are carefree and willing to go out of your comfort zone, to make new friends. That’s what happened with us. I and Marc kept in touch for months via WhatsApp.
When I decided to take this joyful journey of adventure and learning, I decided to make my first stop to Amsterdam because I could spend some time with Marc. Our conversation over the months had been light hearted and fun, so I asked him if he would like me to visit him for few days. He said, “Yes, you are welcome to stay at my place and we can have some fun times.”
After spending a solo day in Amsterdam, I took the direct train next evening to Eindhoven. It was a pleasant trip with views of barren farmlands. There can be beauty found even when on a cold dark cloudy overcast day.
Marc picked me up from the train station. I had a strange feeling, it was like he was a complete stranger I had never met before. The clarity and sparkle in his eyes that I saw in Dubrovnik was missing. I ignored my gut feeling blaming it on my jet lag. We stopped by his place to drop off my luggage. His place was decorated like you would see in a magazine – clean lines, grey tones and a bit cold, as if no one lived there. I asked myself, “Is this the same guy I met in Dubrovnik who was full of life, caring and kind. Or was it someone else?”
We went for dinner in old town and the conversation seemed more one sided. He said that he was just tired from a busy week. We came back home and I was offered the bed on one side of the room. There some something cold about his place and the energy in there. I tossed and turned most of the night. Not a good sign but I stayed optimistic.
Next day he made breakfast and we went to Piet Hein Eek Gallery, which had beautiful refurbished furniture pieces. Looks like it was a huge factory in its heyday which is now a gallery and furniture making shop. From there, we walked for few miles to get to Van Abbe Museum. Along the way, I got a feel of this city, known for the birthplace of Philips Electronics, which is the heart and soul of Eindhoven and is known as the city of light! Hmmm! Since Philips presence is fading, you can feel it in the architecture all around you. The city seems more cold and bleak, as if the lightbulb is nearing the end of its life.
The architecture of the Van Abbe museum building is worth the visit and so is the modern art collection in the museum.
For dinner, we met his friends at El Puente Restaurant, a fine dining global small courses cuisine. If it was not for restaurants like this, I would write off this city. The wine selection and their take on food from different cultures was scrumptiously and beautifully executed. Had lovely conversation with his friends and then we went to a nearby club for drinks and dancing.
The more I observed Marc in his element, I realized my gut feeling the moment I met him at the train station was dead on. He was distant and cold, his body language was saying volumes. He really didn’t want anything to do with me but he wanted to be perceived as a nice guy, so he didn’t have the balls to tell me that he would have preferred if I didn’t visit him because I was not a young and shinny object anymore. I realized that I was being played by someone who just cares about himself without even realizing that I’m a human as well with emotions. I had made plans to come to visit him all the way from the States while he chose to conveniently ignore this fact as well didn’t care to share about his current personal life situation. He had been leading me on for months when his plate was already full.
We came back home and I just cocooned myself to the corner of the bed and tried to recount the moments where I made the mistake or the clues I didn’t pick up on. I couldn’t sleep at all. I was frustrated and felt insecure. I realized that this was none of my mistake, I was being played and I simply lost whatever game he was playing. So I decided to go downstairs where my bags were stored and I packed everything up. Got ready and waited until he woke up. I told him that I will have to head out and confronted the son of a gun. He didn’t have any words or explanation, except it was a misunderstanding and that he feels sorry.
He insisted, so I had a cup of tea. It was strange sitting opposite someone who had played with my feelings to feed his ego. I looked around the room and realized, how could I even be friends with someone who is in the world of grey pastels when I’m as bold as the vibrant colors of a rainbow. We sat in drop dead silence. If you know me, you know I love to talk. I went online and immediately booked a hotel room in Amsterdam for the remaining part of my trip. I didn’t care what it would cost me, that’s the reason I always budget extra for mishaps of life. I just had to get far away from him. He said that we can still be friends and all I could say was, Nope. I can’t have friends like you in my life. It was time to close this chapter of my life.
As I boarded the train and grabbed a seat by the window, all my mind could do was play the lyrics of Rixton’s song, “Me and my broken heart.”
Finally I arrived at my destination and as I got off the train, I decided to leave behind the betrayal and sorrow, and walked out with my head held high to greener pastures to conquer the world 🙂
On the bright side, I am so glad that this happened within the first days of my journey as I learned a lot about myself, friendships, love, and, that it’s ok to be vulnerable.
