Fear and judgment can come in so many forms. Sometimes we don’t even realize when either of these forces come into our life to put us down. You must be wondering, Why am I talking about these forces?
When I came to Goa, India for my yoga teacher training, I had a pretty good handle over these vices but as the day went by, I realized that when things got shitty, these forces will slowly creep in, just like a snake, coil into my existence and when my energy was low, it would attack me to spread its vicious poison.
As I started meditating more frequently, I became aware of its existence and ways in which, either I would judge someone or out of fear try to run away from a situation. The more I became aware, the more I feel grateful because now as a Vira (Warrior) I can look in it’s eye and face it without any fear. I’m trying to practice awareness everyday because that’s the only way I can be the hero, superhero or superwoman of my life.
At the yoga training, I met a spunky Asian woman who has been complaining about one thing or the another since Day 1. Hopefully one day she will wake with the awareness about her behavior or she might never get to that point. Watching her everyday makes me stronger and conscious because she has shown me how it looks like when you are not aware of your behavior and when your life is filled with just complains and regrets. I choose to look at my life as a cup that’s full or open to possibilities rather than empty. I am grateful for all that the universe has given me and continues to give me. And I hope to share this joy with all those who I cross paths with.
Honestly, facing fear is not an easy feat. Tomorrow I’ll be teaching a group class to 20+ students. I know I’ll not be perfect and I’ll make mistakes but I’m going to give my very best. That’s the least I can do. I’m sure listening to the criticism and feedback will not be easy but if I want to be a good teacher, I’ve to listen and learn from these mistakes, this is the only way for my self-growth.
It feels great to conquer my fears, just like Goddess Kali, who destroys the bad forces in our lives.
