I wanted to go deeper in my meditative practice so I decided to come to Dharamshala in India to learn more about different meditation techniques. A couple of my friends recommended that I go to Tushita Meditation Centre. So I signed up for their 10 day silent meditation course, not realizing that along with meditation I would also be learning about Buddha’s teaching. When I told couple of my friends about the silent meditation, they were skeptic if I could go through this experience while being silent. I didn’t think too much and just went with the flow…
I decided to come to Tushita from Zürich few days before the training began so I could get the lay of the land. I stayed in a modest hotel in McLeod Ganj, which had breathtaking views of the mountains and hundreds of steps to climb to get to the hustle and bustle, which was a good way to stay in shape, except on days when it rained and the steps were slippery. Oh my!
I noticed that there were lot of visitors from all over the world coming here to either participate in yoga retreats, learn meditation or to meet Dalai Lama who lives here. When China seized Tibet, Dalai Lama had to escape and seek refuge in India, and the Indian government offered him and other Tibetans a safe place to live, since then Dharamshala has been the home of Dalai Lama in Exile. Met lot of people who had to leave Tibet and are hoping that one day they can go back home and reunite with their loved ones.
Since I had three days on my hand before starting my meditation retreat, I decided to learn Reiki, which is definitely a great healing modality and I plan to combine it with my Akashic Energy Reading gift. At the end of the 3rd day of training, I had to do Reiki on a client so my teacher could see if I was doing properly or not. At the end of our session, I was able to tell the client her problems or sufferings, and she was surprised how I could accurately pinpoint her problems. After this experience, I want to keep on doing energy work on people to heal their internal wounds. A gift which I had suppressed for a long time but as I’m loving myself more, I’m embracing my gifts.
Since I had signed up for the meditation retreat a few weeks ago, the chances of me having my own private room was not looking so good after I looked around the waiting area on the day of registration and noticed at least hundred other students who were there to participate in the retreat as well.
I was allocated to the big dorms and had to share the room with 10 other guys. Since I was the first one to enter the room, I was able to get the only bed which was not a bunkbed by the windows which was a big plus because I felt some sense of privacy in the corner of the room.
Since I’m not used to sleeping with strangers in the same room, I couldn’t sleep at all the first night. On top of that one of the guy decided to keep the room lights on so he could read until the middle of the night, the other guy was coughing and the third one was snoring. Since I couldn’t speak and didn’t feel like getting in confrontation, I decided to just take this as an experience I can learn something from.
The next day, I walked in the room and switched off the light. One of the guy said, “You have turned off the light,” and my response was “hum” without uttering a word. Since that day, no one dared to turn on the lights after 9pm. The snoring guy ended up leaving on the third day but the stinky and messy guy chose to stay there until the end even after he got sick. I started to have compassion for him because it was so sad to see him in such a big mess.
From day two onwards, I was able to get atleast 6 to 7 hours of sleep, at least most of the days, except on the days when there were thunderstorms non-stop.
Our daily schedule was jam packed from waking up at 6am as the sound of the Gong was loud enough to wake us up. Instead of waiting in the long queue for shower, I would do yoga and stretching, and chose to shower during breakfast time when there was no queue, and the chances of having a hot shower was very high. Sometimes you just have to think out of the box. Lol.
After yoga, it was meditation time. Usually we did the “Calm Abiding Meditation,” for 45 minutes.
Next was breakfast time, when I would shower, have breakfast and then do my Karma job. For Breakfast we usually had porridge, peanut butter and bananas.
Each of us were assigned a Karma job at the center. Mine was a fairly easy task of making sure that the narrow strip outside the kitchen was clean off any leaves that had fallen. I did have compassion for those who had to wash dishes or clean the toilets.
After breakfast, we would usually spend 3 hours listening to the teacher as she discussed a topic from Buddha’s teaching and lead a meditation session.
Instead of rushing for lunch since there were always 100 people in queue, I would prefer to go for a hike in the nature. For lunch, we had a basic meal of two vegetable curries with rice and bread. Strangely, my appetite had gone down a lot. A bowl of one serving was enough for me.
After lunch, I enjoyed spending my time back in nature as the monkeys never disappointed me with free entertainment. Also, being silent, was a good way of looking into my soul and seek for inner wisdom.
At 2pm we would meet with our assigned group members to discuss on topics posted by our teacher. One hour would fly by so fast and then it was back to silent mode.
After discussion and tea time, we had couple of meditation sessions. Sitting on the floor for few days did make my back hurt, so I decided to sit on the chair during teaching sessions and retreat to the floor only for meditation sessions. I learned a lot from analytical and guided meditations. The more I did these meditation every day, my thoughts started to subside and I felt at peace with myself.
Sadly there were some people who chose to break the rules from leaving the center whenever they wanted to and talk with each other. Approximately 45 people were from Israel and some of them had come here more for a cheap vacation than to learn meditation. Also, the young Indian guys had come here with an ulterior motive. Of course, I and others who had come here with a serious intention were a bit frustrated but over time I started to have compassion for them as they were missing out so much. I felt sorry for the teachers who had to inform us to stay silent or leave the center, but the bad apples didn’t care at all. We did end up losing 7 to 10 people who felt the meditation was too much for them.
Around 6pm, we had a simple dinner of soup and bread, followed by guided meditation for another 45 minutes. On days when it was not raining I would walk around the center for 30 minutes before calling it a night.
After the 7th day, we had full day of silent meditation for the next two days with lot of stretch breaks in between. This was the best experience with the “light offering” and mantra chanting on the 9th night.
I have to say that being silent was not a difficult task at all for me. In fact, I enjoyed it because I was able to observe my thoughts, listen to the subtle sounds in nature and connect with my true purpose.
Before coming to the retreat, my attitude was influenced by our societal demands of having a house, perfect partner, money and hot body to be happy. After listening to Buddha’s teachings and practicing meditation everyday, I realized that no one else but I can make myself happier without the need for ego, attention, anger, possession or someone else to fulfill my needs.
I’m so happy that I came here for this ten day retreat, my outlook towards life has completely changed and I’m so excited to be starting my next chapter next year with the goal of having compassion and helping others.
As a kid, I used to dream about doing something meaningful in my life and helping others when I grew up but life’s pressure and responsibilities took me on a different path. Being silent didn’t make an enlightened being yet but it did help me find answers which I had buried deep down, and all I had to do was to listen to that little kid. After such a long time, I am finally awake!
