I am glad I chose to immerse myself 100% to learn the art and science of yoga. I had no idea how intense this experience would be. I was more excited about the learning part when I signed up, that Ms. Doubt had no way of sneaking up on me to discourage me from taking this arduous journey.
Looking back I can see how Ms. Doubt had intervened at various times in my life to question my decisions. I used to listen to her as if she was my good friend but in reality she was a wolf in sheep clothing. The pain, suffering and guilt were the gifts she always left for me. It has taken me years to stand up for myself and to say “no” to Ms. Doubt in my life.
Over the years, I had to cut cords with anyone who has a negative personality and, yes, my friend circle has shrinked but I’m much happier with having those around me who have uplifting positive spirit. I strongly believe that, good friendship should be like fine wine, it should get better with age. If it doesn’t, then time to flush it down the toilet.
As Oprah would say, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
Last year, I had to end a friendship of 10 years. I was constantly giving and giving, but would never receive anything back. I also noticed how she would lie to people on their face or speak bad about them behind their back. I ignored her behavior because when we were together we had fun and she was honest with me (that’s what I thought), which was just an illusion. I was hoping that she would change her bad behavior and I would be proud to have helped her become a good person. That was my own folly, if she wanted to change, she would have done that already. She played her classic “I got what I wanted from you card” with me. At that moment, I woke up from the illusion and saw Ms. Doubt for her true self and without any hesitation I said, “You have no principles and you are always negative. You have taken advantage of me again and again. The free ride is over. You are no friend of me. Good luck and goodbye.” It was not easy for me but I had to let Ms. Doubt go. Since then, my life has been filled with beautiful opportunities and people who have encouraged me to take this joyful journey this year.
Back at the yoga center, I have noticed people come to learn yoga for different reasons. Some want to learn the science behind it, some want to be fit and flexible, some want to remove illness from their body, some are depressed and want to change that, and some like me, have no clear purpose, but want to just learn. That was the main reason I came here, to learn more about Yoga because whenever I went to a yoga studio in the States, I felt these classes were missing some key element and, that yoga is much more. The Western world of yoga is so fixated about the asanas (poses) and the physical benefits that it had ignored the other teachings completely. Whenever I visit back home in India, I see the other branches of yoga being practiced in everyone’s daily life. It is just part of their life, like meditation, chanting, devotion, rituals, prayer, pranayama (breathing), fasting, eating habits, …. This is what I had grown up with but after having lived in the States for 20 years, I had replaced the yogic lifestyle with a western lifestyle. So, my goal now is to create a bridge between my western and Indian lifestyle, so I can live a more holistic and fuller life.
I am going to share one of the essay I had to write today about, what is yoga for me?
“We all know that Yoga is a Sanskrit word and, it simply means union of ourselves with the higher (supreme) self. Some may call this higher self – God, Consciousness, or Creator. At this point in my life, this might be a bit too much to wrap my head around. So, I’m taking one step at a time. First, by learning and understanding the teachings of Yoga. And, secondly, to put this learning into practice, by focusing on creating a sound mind to reside in my sound body.
With daily practice, I do know that as I progress, eventually I will reap the rewards of yoga in better understanding myself, loving myself and uncovering my true purpose in life. May be it’s joy, happiness, sharing, liberation or something beautiful I have no idea about.”
The unknown is always a scarier path and Ms. Doubt will most definitely test me, over and over again. My new mantra is “Bring it on Ms. Doubt. I have nothing to loose but all to gain. This is my Joyful Venture and I’m writing the rules.”
What rules would you write today to challenge Ms. Doubt(s) in your life?
